i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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