i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize