i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
