I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
