Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
