Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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