butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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