she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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