Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
