just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
