You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize