my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize