Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
