Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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