Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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