Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
