Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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