I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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