Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
