Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize