I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
