i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize