What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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