Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
