JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
