Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
