I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
