ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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