It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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