do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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