I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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