i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
