he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize