She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
