oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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