Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
