you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
