Fuck appropriateness.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
