smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
