her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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