I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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