covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
