A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
