I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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