Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
