i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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