i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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