I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
