Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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