She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize