I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
