Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
