Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
