a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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