is your mom at the bar?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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