i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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