She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
