I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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